kudzu

All of my life
I've struggled to be
a good person,
and doing so
has made me aware
of my many flaws.
I did not ask to be born;
I got what was here
when I got here...
needed to figure it all out
just like everyone else.
It really doesn't matter
whether or not it is fair
that we were put here
or whether or not God
was involved.
I look inside and find no shame,
no need to apologize for
past indiscretions,
not because I am pure
but because purity isn't the issue.
There is no certainty of truth
like there was when I was fifteen
and knew everything.
It took a long time to realize
how each of us is alone
even when we are
in the company of others,
 how we are totally
responsible
for our actions and outcomes
and experience our own existential angst.
And deep within us
are granules of feelings...
bits and clumps
of carborundum
that slowly wear away
what is left of what
once was known for sure
but is now fading
like the sign
announcing Ruby Falls
painted
on a weathered old barn
nearly overgrown
with kudzu.


Jim Morgan--July 7, 2013